Abide in Courage
When Ryan and I were young therapists, we had a dream and vision to start a private practice. We were newly engaged and had no idea where or when, but we felt the vision would become part of our story. Since then, five years later, we have gotten married, left jobs, made a few moves, created a home with community, experienced deeper healing within our own stories, gotten pregnant, had Maverick, and, while pregnant, began dreaming about Abide in Courage – which was placed on our hearts one evening in November of 2021.
Through the years, Ryan and I have taken more seriously what we step into and have learned that without being connected to The Vine and Shepherd, we are lost. Not just lost, but we inevitably miss out on what The Father desires for us. We did not want to create without the Creator. A few years ago, we learned the beauty, wholeness, and adventure that can come through the practice of consecration and felt led to go away on a consecration retreat in Tennessee. We wanted to open our hands in a posture of surrender and also with an open heart to what the Spirit wanted to say and do through us.
Soaking in His Presence, playing through the house, we began dreaming with God. On the first day, we individually went away to be alone and first just freely dream and wonder about the practice. Ryan previously owned a business, and I was nervous that when we came back together, I would have nothing to share or offer. I sat on the couch and asked for God’s help. I then heard God’s invitation to kneel. I was resistant, being seven months pregnant with Mav. But as I was waiting, pen to paper for desires to come to my mind, nothing…I encountered a mental block.
I got down, knelt, hands open. I then heard God say, “You are afraid that becoming a mom will hinder you from being able to start a practice with Ryan. Surrender your fear of becoming a mom. For being a mother is exactly what the practice needs”. I cried and let my honest fears come. I then opened my journal and felt a release of freedom within my heart.
I began to journal desires and wrote “a quaint bookshop as the lobby. There is natural lighting. We are in downtown Crystal Lake. A little bell rings when a mom and daughter walk in holding coffee and discover our shop while shopping downtown.” I then began to dream about the atmosphere – the lighting, the music, the colors of the doors. My heart could picture it, and my heart felt like it came alive, intertwined with Him as a mother and His daughter.
When I came downstairs, a smile and journal in hand, I asked Ryan what he had dreamed of, and Ryan said, “I have nothing.” The fear in my heart before surrendering was that I would come downstairs and have nothing to offer. He asked what I had. I stood up and said with excitement, “Our lobby is a bookshop in downtown Crystal Lake.” I then began to describe the layout and concept. He had his notepad open and shared how he loved the idea but that I also “complicated things.” He was right. I had no idea the work that would go into opening a practice and an on-site bookshop altogether.
On one of the last days, we created a timeline and began to pursue the vision. It did, in fact, “complicate things”. From March onwards, I could see the bookshop and practice clearly. However, this also meant that Ryan and I had to continue looking for the right location in a downtown setting that would also offer foot traffic – not just a generic commercial office building.
There were a few moments of tension in our marriage that we had to hold space for. Ry is gifted with a business mindset. He knew what creating a bookshop would entail on top of establishing a private counseling practice – I was unaware of how much work, decisions, and planning went into this. We also would be more than likely to make tenant improvements and build office space for the two of us if we were to find a place downtown. A few months went by, and it was July. By this time, we also had a newborn, and we needed an office by August. Ry would point to spaces that would make a lot of practical sense – I kept responding, “That’s just not the vision.” He had to practice a lot of patience. I had to trust and believe that what I heard from God was real.
We found a commercial realtor and toured several office spaces. Also, after a couple of weeks of negotiating, in late July we were one day away from signing a lease in downtown Algonquin – and when it did not go through, it led to feelings of heartbreak, disbelief, and exhaustion. We were both defeated for different reasons and just emotionally spent. With those emotions, my heart began to question whether or not I heard from God. I shared with Ryan that maybe I need to surrender the vision and believe that it was for a couple of years down the road, and that I was ready to tour office buildings.
Earlier that week, we contacted the realtor and set up two tours for the following Monday (because the realtor was unavailable that weekend). Within the next few days, we were both pretty quiet and uncertain.
On that Wednesday, with Mav napping with me on the recliner, I cried to Jesus. I was honest and just sat in the real. I heard, “In two days you will be given your office space in downtown Crystal Lake.” I wrote it in my notes and let it be. I did not share this with Ryan. During this time, I continued to doubt whether or not I heard from God and did not want to interfere with our hearts or minds.
Two days later, Ryan calls and says, “I found a space downtown Crystal Lake that is the exact rent price we need; it has one office already, but we will have to build one.” He sent the photos, and I knew this was the space. We set up a meeting, and it just felt “easy.” Not that things are always easy when walking with God. In fact, Jesus guarantees that life will have tribulation and suffering; and it can also be filled with abundance and peace as well.
Two months later, we are open in our counseling practice and quaint bookshop downtown. Often, we are there with our little family. Throughout this process, we have adopted a narrow and deep approach for our practice and collection of books and stationery. It is quaint, it is simple, it is exciting, and sometimes the nerves come in when we flip our little sign that reads “bookshop open to the public.” But it is also humbling and a space where we feel like we are sitting in His words and vision that He shared with us in Tennessee.
May you go to Courage. Courage to dream boldly with The Trinity. Courage to listen and to lean into what you hear. Courage to trust that what He has planned is good.
May you Abide in Courage: to believe that one can endure all things through deep-rootedness in God’s presence.
Come and find us online at abideincourage.com and downtown at: 67 E Woodstock St Unit B, Crystal Lake, IL 60014