| What Brings You Joy?

I drove to a coffee shop that I knew had sunlight and offered warmth through the windows. On the way to the coffee shop, I hit play on my album, titled “Maddy’s Favorites.” I ordered my favorite latte and found a spot by the window. I knew I could not write in just any environment (or I could, but it wouldn’t have been from a place of overflow, or from a place of rest) instead it would’ve been from a place of striving. I needed to set the scene for my heart to write from a place of overflow.

I believe in searching for and choosing joy. I also believe joy can look different for people. There can be so much power when you know what brings you joy – not what brings someone else joy but you and your heart. My husband’s ideal space to create is different than mine, and to push him towards what brings me joy would be a complete disservice to him and also how God hopes to meet with him and create through him.

When you get the chance, take sometime to watch Runaway Bride. The main character, Maggie was engaged to many guys, and every time she got to the altar she booked it-weather on a horse, running away on foot, and jumping on the back of a mail truck, Maggie could never commit to marriage. You see, Maggie changed her interests based on whomever she dated. If he was a runner, she picked up running. If he ate his eggs scrambled, she ordered them the same way. Her interests changed consistently based on whatever her current partner enjoyed. In this scene pictured, Maggie is discovering a simple interest, but a great start to discovering who she is and what she likes. So, when you get the chance, I want you to watch this scene, and notice what goes on within you as you watch it.

I have a simple question “How do you like your eggs?” Does that question stir up anxiety or does it stir up confidence? Does it stir up a longing to know what you like and to take ownership of that?

Maggie discovered the reality that before you can find love and commit to love you must first know who you are and what you like. If you don’t, there is a danger of losing yourself or your identity in that person. Which can sadly result in losing yourself and waking up one day and wondering “Who I am and what do I even like?” from the simplest of things to the type of food that you enjoy.

You see, God designed your heart on purpose and laughs with delight when you can receive his gifts of joy. He pursues us and we can often miss it. God may pursue my heart with a bluebird, with sunshine streaming through my windows, and a quaint coffee shop that allows my heart to create. He may pursue your heart through a red bird, breeze through windows, or a study room in the library.

When I am feeling down, or in a funk, I can choose things that bring me joy. I used to choose whatever my friends or family enjoyed, which often led to feeling lost. What used to lead to me choosing what my friends and family enjoyed was fear and some negative self-talk.

There are messages that we can often believe that keep us from choosing things that bring us joy. These messages can sound like “What if what I like is not fun,” “What if I’m weird for liking these things,” and “Am I too different?” Maybe take some time and ask yourself “When did I start to believe what I liked was not good enough, wrong, too different” … ask yourself and ponder “When did I start to agree that I couldn’t disagree with someone or order something different or not like something that my friend next to me likes?” And in asking yourself, these questions- wouldn’t you want to discover who you are and how you are made to be by God? I know I sure do.

At some point in our life, we began to silence our inner selves and our inner beings, our inner child. At some point, we began to learn that what we enjoyed was not good. This can often lead to silencing ourselves and becoming lost.

This takes courage. Courage is one of my favorite words. It means when you are scared, you choose to do it anyway because of the reward that will come with it. So, I encourage you into courage.

Courage to name what brings you joy, courage, to remember what once brought you joy, even as a little girl; and sometimes, dear friends this can bring up disappointment, self-doubt, and even despair. Listen to what arises as you name things that your heart enjoys. I wonder, what is it that your heart is waiting for you to own, and discover what brings you joy? I named a few things to give you an idea of what the beginning process can look like for you to discover joy again. I want to encourage you to listen to the songs shared on this post and begin writing things that bring your heart joy.

Isaiah 43:19 “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness. and streams in the wasteland.”

What Brings Me Joy

• Horses

• Deep conversations with friends

• Jeeps

• Taper candles

• Sunlight streaming through the windows.

• Reading a good book at a quaint coffee shop

• Communal worship

• Art museums

• Golden retrievers

• Slow mornings

• Cozy days with Ry

• Gin & strawberry mixed drinks

• Red wine at a wooden dinner table where friends linger with candlelight.

• Therapy (as a client)

• Broadway Plays & Theatre's

• Candles (nothing peony or jasmine flower)

• Pure Barre

• Country Music

• Farmland

• The view of the water

• Spontaneous road trips with good company

• Competitive games

• Journaling

• Eclectic, local, bookstores

• The beach & sound of the waves

• Getting lost in a good book

• Adventure: hiking trips, trying something new like snowboarding or surf lessons, traveling, off-roading

• Baseball games (concession food required)

• Romcoms

• Consignment boutiques

Songs: She Used to Be Mine: Sara Bareilles, Lose You to Love Me: Selena Gomez & New Wine: Hillsong Worship

Go in Courage.

Maddy V. Hesslau